(with apologies to Doyle and de Vere)

by J. GOMBARCIK

Wa:	Hail! Stand and unfold! What manner of apparition doth assail me with thy sight? What? This miscreant; I believe it not; but, ’tis… Holmes!
Ho:	Ahh, good friend, Watson. 'Tis no chicanery. I am undone! Lack of mystery without solution hath prompted this detective in search of different…solution.
Wa:	Nay, sweet ruffled pajock, stop! He who hath borne me thru a thousand adventures, keep ye to this madness no more! For, upon hearing of thy affectation, I sent out inquiries which hath given birth to welcome news: Someone in my family Seeketh thy assistance! A cousin-Thrice-removed.
Ho:	Ah, dear monument; dear crutch. I am in your debt! Indeed, we must celebrate. Where is my violin?
Wa:	Nay, Holmes! Nay! Anything but that! Neighbors’ protests, alas, cannot be as easily solved.