PROF PRESBURY'S PASSION (CREE)
by Frank Coffman

"You are old Dr. Presbury, don't you feel shame That a professor in your position Should act like an ape for a daughter-aged dame And arouse such a lot of suspicion." "Ah, but when I was young such a compound of brains And lusty good health did enjoy That it hurts when I find how age rapidly drains Those abilities known as a boy. "So I found a shrewd druggist, a crafty old Czech, And he promised to help my amours. And it seemed a small price that my health is a wreck And ninth-nightly I go on all fours. "So what if I'm randy, for young girls do pine, And my dog wants a bite of my arse? Look here at this trick, I can climb up the vine! The effects will eventually pass." "Tut, tut, Dr. Pres, you naughty old prof, We won't let you act the old goat. I'm Sherlock, he's Watson we won't let you quaff That elixir that makes you a stoat. "Your lucky we both got involved when we did, At the beck of your Sec, and your daughter, To discover your habit you thought was well hid-- Before your dog finished the slaughter. "This case is closed Watson, our work is concluded-- To London with hansom and horse. I'll take back this phial -- hmm? perhaps if diluted? -- For the good of science of course!"